A New Chapter, take 1

The Grateful Dead had once said “What a long strange trip it has been” and well I couldn’t agree with them more. It’s been almost 2 years since my last post and I don’t even know where to begin the reason for disappearing from something that really kept me grounded.

Let’s just say I am praying for this new chapter has some hidden blessings for some reason God does not want me to see right now.

2 years ago today my mother was still with me. 2 years today I had hope of a bright future. 2 years ago today I had no idea what was in store for me.

Unfortunately in December 2012 my mothers pancreatic cancer had been getting the worst of her. She was constantly sick. She was in and out of hospitals on a weekly basis. She had been a storm trooper for over 2 years and half battling with all her might, after the doctors had literally only given her 2 months. But as sick as she was getting she simply wanted to do more, go out more, travel more which unfortunately her sickness made it quite difficult but it didn’t stop her. When I look back at this time I wonder why I didn’t do more for her. I know no matter what I did I will never feel it was enough. After all she is my mother who brought me in this world and made me the woman I am today and for that I’m eternally grateful.

Months rolled on and we cherished moments and meals and really the simple things. She desperately wanted to go to a place called Gouna and Marsa Allem in Egypt and though we made it to Gouna, the day she passed away was the day she had tickets to fly to Marsa Allem. Which still gives me the creeps.

Those last months consumed me.

My mother passed away May 1, 2013 from pancreatic cancer. It was something that shattered my life and my soul to a level I never imagined.

The following months and what was to happen next and bring me today was something I could have never imagined.

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